loved ones

I was immersed in the work of lunching my website a couple of days before. I was surfing the web for a quote on value. This proverb caught my attention.

“You never know the worth of water until the well is dry” An English proverb

I didn’t mean that we do not know the meaning of the above. At times I (we) forget to pay attention for small things around me. I know myself as a person who shouts all day at the loved ones for not doing certain things. My mother used to prepare my favorite dish spending hours where by oversight she would have added a little salt (tolerable). I would blame her for that saying that she does not know cooking.

I usually shout at my wife for not ironing my shirt properly questioning whether that was how her mother had thought her to do things. And at each stage I keep complaining and shouting.

I realize my folly only when both of them are not at home and I have to do things myself. That is only when I value the effort both of them put to keep me happy. I realize the worth of them and decide not to do it again and to confront when they come home.

The moment they come back I’m the same person as before forgetting what I had decided to do. I hope this is the case at every door step.

Things can be changed. Let’s be focused on how to change our reaction considering the effort the others put and experience a different response form others. I had tried and experienced a positive response till now let’s not wait till the 11^th hour and say “Oh god not again”.

Rule of 5

I have been going through few mentor ship programs I found it very useful and like to share.

The article was sent by Jack canfield co author chicken soup for the soul.

When Mark Victor Hansen and I published the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book, we knew we wanted it to be a best-seller.

We wrote over 1,000 things we could do to bring us closer to our goal...but then we got overwhelmed at the enormity of what we were trying to do.

This sense of "overwhelm" happens to almost everyone who is trying to achieve a truly big goal. But just like yesterday's lesson about "chunking it down," today I'd like to share with you the story of what Mark and I did to meet our "best-seller" goal.

We established what we call our "Rule of 5." Just as the Achievers Focusing System from yesterday helps you plan 3

things a week to do, we split up our list between us and agreed to do 5 things A DAY that would get us closer to our goal.

Now, does everyone have the time and resources to make daily gains? Of course not. But what if you could send five letters asking for sponsorship money, make five phone calls asking for new business, fill out five job applications for your new career or read five chapters of the latest industry report?

Could you do that every day?

If so, it's one way to get further -- faster -- down your personal path toward success.

"What do you think that you become"

Serious to be sincere

Serious to be sincere - A speech by Chetan Bhagat at Symbiosis

Don’t just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental peace are all in good order.
There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup. There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

"Life is one of those races in nursery school where you have to run with a marble in a spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming first. Same is with life where health and relationships are the marble. Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else, you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being excited and alive, will start to die. ……………….
One thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously. Life is not meant to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500 weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? …………….

It's ok, bunk a few classes, scoring low in couple of papers, goof up a few interviews, take leave from work, fall in love, little fights with your spouse. We are people, not programmed devices........." :)

"Don't be serious, be sincere."!!

Judgmental

Once upon the time there lived a saadhu(hermit). Everyday at day break he would go to the river to take a dip. On the way he had to pass by a prostitute's house.

One day when he was returning from the river, the prostitute, to tease him asked, " Baba, Khare ho ya Khote?"-(are you pure or impure) The Saadhu(hermit) does not answer.

This question became a ritual between the two and continued for umpteen number of years. One day the Saadhu did not return from the river. As the prostitute waited anxiously for his return, a man came and told her that the saadhu had slipped on the steps of the ghat(bank) and was dying. He was waiting for her.

The prostitute went running to the river. On seeing her, the saadhu tells her to repeat her question. When she repeated the question, the saadhu said that he was Khara(pure).

He had not said so before because he was not sure that he would remain the same. Since he was dying, there was no time for him to change. The saadhu then closed his eyes.

For want of better things

For want of better things

“Yesterday, I was driving, and the FM radio went off for few seconds. I thought, I should have an iPod. Then suddenly I realized that I have not used my iPod in last 6 months. And then … more things, Handy cam in last 2 years, Digital Camera in last 2 months, DVD player in last 1 month and many more. Now I can say that I bought that Handy cam just out of impulse, I have used it twice only in last 4 years.

So, whats wrong and where? When I look at myself or my friends I can see it very where. We are not happy with what we have but all are stressed and not happy for the things we don ’ t have. You have a Santro, but you want City … You have a City, but you want Skoda. Just after buying a new phone, we need another one. Better laptop, bigger TV, faster car, bigger house, more money … .I mean, these examples are endless. The point is, does it actually worth? Do we ever think if we actually need those things before we want them?

After this, I was forced to think what I need and what I don ’ t. May be I didn ’ t need this Handy cam or the iPod or that DVD player. When I see my father back at home. He has a simple BPL colour TV, he doesn ’ t need 32 ″ Sony LCD wall mount. He has a cell phone worth Rs 2,500. Whenever I ask him to change the phone, he always says … “ Its a phone, I need this just for calls. ” And believe me; he is much happier in life than me with those limited resources and simple gadgets.The very basic reason why he is happy with so little is that he doesn ’ t want things in life to make it luxurious, but he wants only those things which are making his life easier. It’s a very fine line between these two, but after looking my father’s life style closely, I got the point. He needs a cell phone but not the iPhone. He needs a TV but not the 32 ″ plasma. He needs a car but not an expensive one.

Initially I had lot of questions.

I am earning good, still I am not happy … ... why?

I have all luxuries; still I am stressed.... ....... why?

I had a great weekend, still I am feeling tired...... why?

I met lot of people, I thought over it again and again, I still don’t know if I got the answers, but certainly figured out few things. I realize that one thing which is keeping me stressed is the “stay connected” syndrome. I realized that, at home also I am logged in on messengers, checking mails, using social networks, and on the top of that, the windows mobile is not letting me disconnected. On the weekend itself, trying to avoid unwanted calls … and that is keeping my mind always full of stress. I realized that I am spending far lesser money than what I earn, even then I am always worried about money and more money. I realized that I am saving enough money I would ever need, whenever needed. Still I am stressed about job and salary and what I spend.

May be, many people will call this approach “not progressive attitude “, but I want my life back. Ultimately it’s a single life, a day gone is a day gone. I believe if I am not happy tonight, I’ll never be happy tomorrow morning. I finally realized that meeting friends, spending quality time with your loved one’s; spending time with yourself is the most important thing.

If on Sunday you are alone and you don’t have anybody to talk with, then all that luxuries life, all that money is wasted. May be cutting down your requirements, re-calculating your future goal in the light of today’s happiness is a worthwhile thing to do. May be selling off your Santro and buying Honda City on EMIs is not a good idea. I believe putting your happiness ahead of money is the choice we need to make.

I think, a lot can be said and done but what we need the most is re-evaluation of the value of happiness and time we are giving to our life and people associated with it. “

Insight 8.5

"If you're open to altering your plans a bit, you might achieve even better results than you'd anticipated."

Peggy McColl